what a surprise..
the first thing that i saw when i logged in to fb,
is the change of his status..
yeah..
finally, he's attached..
maybe that dream that i had from yesterday is trying to tel me this..
i don't know why..
but i dream of him..
and then i saw this little thing that has the shape of a baby not fully formed,
and is framed up..
then slowly, the image is clearer..
it was my baby..
that i had abort.
and its his child too.
and that he had abandoned us.
once in awhile,
i would feel pain in the stomach or somewhere near that area..
reminding me of my child.
that i killed him/her with my own hands..
and then the image is all red..
his face..
still the same,
so vivid.
i can even smell my child..
like its taking revenge,
asking me why..
then i woke up..
its all showing now..
that he has found someone..
to lay in his arms..
to kiss him good night..
and its time now..
to let go of him..
and then again...
i wish him happiness.
like before...
always..
i died.
7:10 PM
