Sunday, October 24, 2010
how long has it been that i've blogged?!
it has been awhile i guess.
have been busy with work..
and i don't really bother to use the computer at all..
cox everytime i use,
i just get more disappointed,
cox when i saw the things on his profile..
it just make me devastated.
oh well..
i had a great time with audrey today..
its been awhile since we done all that..
feels great to have to do all that once in awhile.
and now...
even without him...
i'll live better..
becox..
i look so good,
without u..
i will still carry on with my life..
and i will live a better life..
i died.
10:20 PM
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
what a surprise..
the first thing that i saw when i logged in to fb,
is the change of his status..
yeah..
finally, he's attached..
maybe that dream that i had from yesterday is trying to tel me this..
i don't know why..
but i dream of him..
and then i saw this little thing that has the shape of a baby not fully formed,
and is framed up..
then slowly, the image is clearer..
it was my baby..
that i had abort.
and its his child too.
and that he had abandoned us.
once in awhile,
i would feel pain in the stomach or somewhere near that area..
reminding me of my child.
that i killed him/her with my own hands..
and then the image is all red..
his face..
still the same,
so vivid.
i can even smell my child..
like its taking revenge,
asking me why..
then i woke up..
its all showing now..
that he has found someone..
to lay in his arms..
to kiss him good night..
and its time now..
to let go of him..
and then again...
i wish him happiness.
like before...
always..
i died.
7:10 PM
Monday, October 11, 2010
its been awhile..
in 3 more days,
it'll be exactly a month away from his birthday..
time really flies..
i've been keeping myself busy in either school or dramas..
but recently,
something happened that i almost suffer a breakdown..
i was only relieved to see that after a week or so,
my grandmother is able to recover and able to recuperate at home rather than the hospital.
hopefully,
she will have a full recovery soon..
i died.
7:55 PM
