Wednesday, December 16, 2009
i'v been here in thailand for almost a week and life was simple.. im like.... a child here... runnin around here and dere and gettin scoldings from my mom everyday.. haha.. but well i did enjoy somehow.. de stars held high everynight.. sometimes.. shooting stars can be seen as well.. =]
haha. and ofcox.. i made a wish.. it is to be tgt with u.. to be able to see u everyday and hold u closs to my heart everynight.. but will it really happen? idk abt tat.. things must have gone bad on ur business.. i wish i could help.. but de only thing i colud do.. was to watch ur back and give u moral support.. is tat all i could do? does money really matters tat much? yeah.. i guess it does.. becox de world today is realistic.. but i wish.. tat i could be dere.. it doesnt matter even if it means just for me to stand dere and just look at u and do nth.. i'll be satisfied.. bein so simple like tat can be a great happiness. for me at least.. do u feel it? my love and care for u? i guess u could.. but u wouldnt wan to accept it. i really wish u r de 1.. it doesnt matter whether u r rich or poor, good lookin or not.. its de love tat i have developed for u.. and de sense of secure tat u hav given me. i seriously miss de times when u 'play' with me and hugged me.. im not bein desperate.. but i need ur love.. u care.. ur warmth.. and.. u... everyday when im lookin at de stars.. i'll be wonderin which star is de star tat represents u.. and when i guess and see... i noe.. tat de star tat is shinin de brightest... is u.. rmb my love.. i'll be right here waitin for u.. i'll be right behind u and if u ever need me.. just turn around and i'll reach out for u.. something i wanted to say to u.. but i can only say here.. tat is... ily..
i died.
5:12 PM
Monday, December 14, 2009
hahahaha.. its been so long since i post! im in thailand now.. i sure miss them alot.. esp... haven stopped missin him for a sec.. haha. i learned how to drive and ride a bike yesterday.. it was so fun!!!! and den at night.. we went to look at de stars just outside my home.. de stars here really covered de whole sky.. though it was freakin cold here.. but it was worth it.. and dere is also a story behind some of de stars too.. i was so touched when i heard 1 of them.. de bond and love between mother and child is simply.... unimaginable.. its... magnificent.. i dunno how to put it in words.. i just felt something.. in my chest.. i heard and got to noe tat u r sick.. i hope u r gettin better.. i really miss u alot alot alot alot.... i wish tat u r here with me.. and we culd watch de stars tgt at de pavillion in my hse's garden.. it would be so lovin... life here without u at my sight was hard.. though i might be somehow enjoying myself.. but it wasnt enuf.. i really... miss u alot.
i died.
6:04 PM
Saturday, December 5, 2009
days and days past just like tat. time really flies pass us in just a flash.. its been so long since u hav ever really spoke 2 me or hold me or even look at me in de eyes. although these actions r all just illusions tat i've misunderstood. but for some reasons.. i feel tat its not de same.. i rmb tat u ever hugged me from behind.. but it was such a distance away.. and its gettin further and further.. sometimes... i even wonder if it was really dere.. and i hope it was. becox de only thing tat i live for now, is to see u, to noe tat u r dere.. and to noe tat all tat does happen even though its in de past and even though now all i see is ur back view. but wateva it is.. i'll treasure wats dere.. until u r really gone..
i died.
3:28 PM
