3 months & 2 days.
like huray!!!
its my off day..
and everything kinda went smoothly for me today.
went to meet chris for breakfast...
everything was great.
the only thing that pisses me off..
is that my period is coming.. and at a very wrong timing.
i was like..
grr..
no swimming again.
haha.
commented on his status..
and he replied.
i was kinda half way to the moon.
and i laughed as well.
because he said that he hates to run..
and then i was so sarcastic.
i tell him ' don't run.. JOG!'
hahaha.
and he says that he hate to even walk..
and i was like...
ok...
i'll buy him an armchair.
hahaha..
he was like..
' i want it with a remote control..'
i'm like laughing.
and i said NO!!
exercise his arm..
thats why its called an armchair.
haha.
and he insist that he wants it with a remote control..
and i wish i had said that he don't need a remote control when someone is actually willing to push him around.
which obviously is me.
but somehow or rather..
i dare not.
i'm just a coward with him around.
and tomorrow is my off day...
meeting jac...
and i planned to go visit him..
and taste his cooking.
haa!
hopefully i get to try..
=D
and then later in the evening..
i'm planning to find audrey.
for dinner..
haa.
a surprise...
been a long time since i saw her.
i'm missing so much after i started my internship.
and then i thought..
when u gain something in life..
u'll definitely lose something.
life won't be perfect..
neither will someone be perfect.
and something that is so true.
nothing is perfect..
not even close to perfect.
just...
my mom and dad was like quarreling over some little matter.
my mom came home..
and then go out again.
my dad saw her boarding a cab.
and started to think that my mom was like playing outside.
and get all upset and flare.
when my mom came back in less than half an hour..
my dad was like questioning her..
in a tone that i didn't like it as well.
me and my sister was like...
'we only heard the tv..'
its like..
idk..
and she start to tel me to look after my sisters when she's not around..
haix.
when will this end?
although i know that sooner or later..
they will separate.
and this family that i wished it would be perfect,
will have cracks..
scars will be left behind.
i know how my mom felt.
i feel for her.
but at the same time.
i love my dad and my grandmother and all..
i can only say that the problems are created by the last generation..
and this new generation that i'm in..
has nothing to do with the problems..
but we are the innocent ones..
and when i come to realize that i'm actually one of the victims..
i don't deny that i hated my family.
how they treated my mom..
how they treated me.
i don't need them to dote on me.
but i also don't wish to be tortured.
haix.
and now all i hear is the sounds of their quarrels.
every time.
whenever they start to talk..
it will start.
if i had 3 wishes..
i would wish for a happy and loving family as the first.
something i longed for..
but i can't get.
its just to hard to find love.
whatever love it is...
family..
bgr...
or friends.
faults will be found..
wish to have a stick now.
but i know i cant.
what an off day i have..
the first is to hear all those nasty things.
and see it.
maybe..
when they separate..
we'll all be happier..
true happiness will be found.
sometimes..
being alone is better.
being happy even for a day is not an option for me..
eventually..
it will turn bad..
everything will start to change.
if i want to have a smooth life..
i'll have to live through it without happiness.
then,
i won't have unhappiness as well.
i'll be living like a zombie..
no feelings.
nothing.
i'd trade for it.
i died.
1:41 AM
