its a month and 2 weeks and 2 days.
time really flies.
called den yesterday.
and asked den about him..
he was alright.
still the same perhaps.
i wonder if things were really alright for him.
worried about a lot of stuff about him.
when i sleep, i worried if he was asleep and whether he had his blanket on.
when i woke up, i worried if he had got enough sleep.
when i eat, i worried if he had taken his meal and whether he had taken his fill.
when i was working and got hurt somehow,
i worried if he got hurt as well.
when it rains, i worried if he was caught in a rain and if he was warm enough to not get a flu.
when the weather got hot,
i worried if he had enough water to keep himself cool.
and it goes on and on..
everyday, every minute, every second.
seems like everything links to him.
too often when i stare faraway,
and thinks begin to flash in my mind.
images about him, him, and still him...
and many many times in a month or so..
i dream of him..
and too often when i dream,
i mixed up a little,
between dreams and reality,
it all seem so real..
my dreams seem too real that i thought it was true.
but in reality,
sometimes i wonder if it did happen or was it just my hallucination.
i couldn't explain why, or how..
just confused.
days went by and passes so fast..
that my visions blurred,
and memories failed me..
i know that u have rejected me in a way that wasn't too harsh.
but sometimes,
i wished that u do it the harsher way.
maybe it will be easier for me to let go.
but since i loved u so..
deeply.
perhaps its hard.
but..
i still got the blue for u.
my heart still beats for u.
my face still blush for u.
i still stutter for u.
i still care for u.
and i still love u.
i died.
1:06 AM
