ok! my mistake.
its exactly a month and 2 days that i didn't see u.
guess i just missed u too much.
i remember the last day that i saw u was on the 26th of march.
it was the 2nd last day of examinations.
i really regret how much i didn't just run up to u and hug u tight.
there wasn't anyone around but u.
and u were walking away slowly.
why didn't i pluck up the courage to do so.
guess i'm just a coward.
looking at our first picture on my phone,
thinking back to the days that we had somehow spent together.
looking far away to somewhere i didn't really know.
and taking my oxygen break.
that moment,
i really feel like crying.
even when i was in the kitchen,
i was like damn pek cek.
i don't know why also.
and i felt like crying.
but i didn't.
i had to stay strong.
been thinking about him all the time.
even when i was sleeping,
i dreamt of him most of the time.
didn't really smile nowadays.
i was tired.
i don't know how many times in a day,
that i almost gone crazy.
i wanted to hug him so badly.
or even just to see him.
haix.
jac and weichao came to eat today.
and i was somehow forced to cook for them..
but then heng..
chef roger helped me with the salmon,
and ah tan helped me with the baked rice.
so basically,
i didn't really so much..
and then went to take a break with them..
time passed so fast.
and then during the operation,
when i somehow wrapped everything.
and dang!
the mango salad came in..
nvm..
i do alrd..
DANG!
again..
wah..
i damn pek cek ah!!!
stupid..
late liao still eat..
hope they all grow fat like pig.
and later went to find audrey and her friend.
opps.
forgot the name again.
so me, her, him and shaun was like slacking around.
i was somehow emo again.
looking far..
mind blank..
went home with sis..
and she cried.
seriously.
that guy was a coward.
i haven even started to fuck him,
and he hung up.
and say : 'childish'
like who is the 1 that is childish here.
haa!
hope he got bang by a car and die.
or get kicked out of sg and back to his hometown.
fucker!
looking helplessly at sis,
and tears roll down..
all i can do is to hug her and comfort her.
we didn't talk on our way back.
both of us were emo about our own 'stuff'
i hate that feeling.
but it was me..
to be emo..
haix.
if only i had a chance..
if i ever hold on to u..
i won't ever let u go.
but i know that it's impossible.
because u will never be mine.
but still.
i love u.
this 3 word is so hard to say.
but u are the first that i ever said it when i really meant it in a way..
that i wanted to be the one to hold u tight.
but will u?
i doubt.
but have u ever had a bit of feelings towards me?!
guess not ba.
i died.
1:14 AM
