i would have never thought,
the person who hurt me the most,
would be the person i loved the most.
i dont understand, why we dont walk away from a painful situation. even though we know it will eventually pass. even if we cant go back and change the past, but at least we're still breathing, our life still belongs to us. the only thing we can look after, is our own heart.
its been a day.
that sch is finally over.
went to chamber 82 with chris, wayne, edmund(wayne's fren)
and 1 other whom i forgot the name.
the night slipped away very quickly.
me and chris almost finished the tower when they got back from dinner.
and we went to sit outside the pub for a break.
and then,
2 guys came up to us to make frens.
and i got to know a guy named sean.
he was a nice guy.
mixed chi & indian.
but his parents were both mixed too.
so its complicated.
he is hot somehow.
and he is gentle and showed some care.
but,
every sec.
all that is in my head is him.
i wanted very much to ask him face to face.
but couldnt find a chance.
if he would just come out,
and talk to me face to face.
idk.
when i heard stories,
im really hurt.
my heart is aching and shatters from the inside.
tears rolled down.
but i smiled to myself.
at least i know how he feels.
sis told me,
dun listen to wat others say.
i hav to listen it from him.
from his mouth,
face to face.
i was afraid.
idk y.
maybe im afraid of rejections.
or maybe i alrd knew the truth, just that i dun wanna face it.
i wanted to pluck up the courage to go find him.
and sort it out.
but.
will he run away?
i bet so.
even if i saw him,
what am i going to say to him?
what am i going to ask?
will i stutter?
or will i be dumb founded?
idk.
i died. 9:41 PM
