seriously.. did i owe it to u in my previous life?
and u r out to take revenge on me now.
i could hav just dun care abt anything tat u do or wat.
but..
u r my sister! real blood and flesh sister!
how could i just leave u like tat?!
and u r really gettin out of hand.
i really dunno how to teach u anymore.
im not askin u to be a nerd or wat..
im just askin tat u could tel me everything and listen to me when i tel u something.
its not tat hard rite?!
im just trying to protect u from goin astray.
but when will u noe tat i was doin all this for ur own good.
all u noe is just to giv me all those fuckin attitude.
i seriously feel like slappin u.
ARGH!
wad ever!
anw. 2day went over to chris's hse for project..
and we ended up watchin movie and usin fb and browsing through blogs..
but well. we did something at least.
haa.
we had dinner at her place..
we did de yu sheng and ate ichiban. sashimi!
i had de belly part of de salmon as well.
omg!
its heaven!!
sometimes i really envy chris..
she has de family tat i've always longed to hav.
lovin parents hu always cared for her.
i rmb dere is once her mom and dad came down and wanted to help her with her bag.
how i wish my parents will come down and fetch me specially.
but i noe..
tat wont happen.
and her bro.. hu will always care for her too.
and all the things tat i longed for.
how lucky she is.
and she dun hav to worry for her siblings or parents.
but well..
i hav to resign to fate.
its wat im born with.
i cant change de fact tat im born like this.
a freak i guess.
and its been like 2 days since i meet audrey.
I MISS U SIS!
its like we talk and msg everyday..
but it doesnt seemed to be enuf.
maybe im just too greedy for sister love.
haha.
and im bein quite mean today.
to him maybe.
idk y.
maybe im angry with him?
but i noe deep down tat i just loved him too much.
he said no 1 ever noes his inner self, not even himself.
and i said,
search for it den, or is it tat u dun wanna face urself.
i regretted somehow.
for being so..
mean..
maybe i WAS angry..
becox of wat u said.
i felt tat i could hav understood u if u let me.
but u just wont open de door for me.
i felt tat u r avoidin me somehow.
but i dun blame u.
becox i noe very well wat will happen if i confessed.
i was prepared for it.
but u noe. i will wait for u.
how long?
idk.
for as long as i love u?!
but..
will u even look back at me?
i died. 1:02 AM
