Tuesday, January 26, 2010
yesterday i had a nightmare.. i dreamt tat i was back at home in thailand.. and i was standing outside my hse rite infront of de gate.. for some reason, i felt diff abt tat hse.. it was some how a mixture of my hse tat has renovated and not renovated. as in.. half half.. de garden and everything was still dere.. its just tat it looked.. looked like it has been dere untouched for a few decades.. and dere are twines covering all around de gate, de pavillion, and up de old hse.. weeds grew all over de place as well.. its almost like those very old haunted mansion tat u see in scary movies. its not just my hse tat looked so eerie... my aunt's hse which was just opposite to my hse was just as eerie.. i didn't noe y.. but i somehow walked into my hse.. de garden looked just de same.. but it seems like forever just to walked through de garden to my hse's door step. as i walked, i looked around as well, de 'little forest' tat my mom used to plant trees tat r used to make hses... all de trees r like withered and look dead.. 1 or 2 of de dead trees somehow or rather covered de roofs of de hse.. i didn't really noe how 2 describe it.. but u can somehow imagine it. quite scary huh.. it'll be even more scary if u were really dere in my dreams.. den... i walked into tat hse.. when i opened de door, it somehow squeak a little like de door has not been moved in a decade. inside of de hse.. it was totally different from what i expected.. it was also totally different from my hse now.. as in de inside.. this hse in my dream.. was much much much more different.. it was just like a mansion on de inside.. if u have watched 'the haunted mansion' b4, it looked almost like it.. just tat everything was so woody.. wat's so weird is tat the hse looked just like any other hse.. tat wasnt so big nor small.. but on de inside, it was damn spacious.. and eerie ofcox. and all of a sudden, de hse looked damn alive.. all my family members r dere... my cousins and all were dere too.. each in a room.. and one of my cousin, 'kot' stayed near to me. at first i didn't really suspect anything.. i walked into 1 of de rooms while holdin on to my cousin as i was still scared.. in de first room, i saw a gal wearin some cheer leader clothin.. i somehow rmb her face, but tat gal.. i dun think i saw her b4. so it was weird.. its like my first time meetin her.. and den dere is my sister... they turned to me slowly and smiled.. i smiled back.. and walked closer.. den i realised tat the room looked like some 'shop' like in funfairs where ppl have to sell something.. this 'shop' is sellin some accessories and stuff.. all looked abit antique.. but it was all so gorgeous.. i cant help it but to take a look closer.. as i walked closer, i had a shock of my life.. my sister was like killin herself or maybe got killed.. and she was like lyin on de floor, and she turned slowly and smiled.. and den laugh... tat gal too... turned slowly and den laughed at me.. i screamed and look at my cousin.. i tot he was shocked too.. but den... he was actually laughin with them.. i screamed again.. and started to run.. i ran out of de room and past by quite some other rooms.. de same senario occured in those rooms just tat it was all diff ppl and diff 'shops'.. i didn't wanna get into de details becox i myself dun wanna rmb de details. it was.. scary.. and if i nv rmb wrongly... he was in one of those rooms too.. i wanted to get into de room and pull him out and run tgt.. but i was too scared and also.. i knew tat he was just an illusion.. he was just a spirit tat changed into his form to lure me in like de others.. i didn't noe which was real and which was just illusion.. as i passed all those rooms, one by one.. my family appeared and died infront of me.. but they all turned and look at me and smiled.. it was like they were still alive.. in de last room, guess hu i saw.. it was my cousin.. de one who was with me just.. and he too.. did de same... i was scared out of my wits and i ran really fast towards de entrance.. de corridor was like tat of in de dungeon.. like suddenly changed to another style.. and i just kept runnin... den it was like some1 pulled me out of de hse.. and i was suddenly out of de gate and runnin towards my cousin's hse. yes... it was de same cousin... but it was not him... it was his elder sister, 'kip'.. she was... real... i didn't noe wat word to use.. we just kept runnin and our hands r held tgt until we reached her place and de door is closed.. i asked her wat happened to my place.. and where r all those ppl.. and also where is my mom and sisters etc.. she told me abt de story.. a group at cheerleaders actually offended a very evil 'bomoh'.. i dunno wat its called dere.. and de bomoh is really very angry... and as de cheerleaders went to live at our hse, de bomoh set a curse on them and d hse.. inside of de hse, when the cheerleaders entered de hse, de hse suddenly became very big inside and all of them had a room to themselves.. in just 1 night, all of them died.. de sight was gruesome.. and when some1 was sent in to carry de bodies out, they all didn't live to come out.. every1 hu went in, died and nv come back.. all those ppl i saw... they were all their spirits.. it was real... all my family members died.. all those cheerleaders.. and him... y would he be dere in de first place?! i was devastated.. but somehow or rather.. i didn't cry.. maybe i was too scared to cry.. normally when i peeped through de windows in her hse, everything was covered and i cant see my hse nor my aunt's hse.. but when i lift up de curtain and look out.. i actually saw my aunt's hse and my hse.. it was like so clear... its almost like its just rite nxt to it.. or like de window had some zoom in effect.. and i saw de spirits movin around and crossin over from my aunt's hse to my hse.. they were all only de cheerleaders.. none of my family or frens r out.. and my cousin told me tat they were all trapped inside my hse.. i was curious y me and her didn't die in de hse.. but i didn't ask her y.. guess i was too afraid to ask.. but she told me tat the spirits r like planning to give away some of de antiques in de hse.. since the hse was cursed, de things inside will also be cursed as well.. de spirits r actually trying to drag more ppl down with them.. i didn't dare to go out of my cousin's place.. the area was so quiet and not a single person.. it was like im in a ghost town.. and all of a sudden.. i just woke up.. but it seems like de nightmare was still dere.. all de things were so real tat i could even feel de cold atmosphere of my hse.. Omg.. i just told my mom abt it and she asked me.. wat if u go back? r u afraid?! tat question really had me.. i gave it a second thought.. i was afraid.. and hopefully i wont remember a single thing b4 i go back again.. if not i'll become a zombie.. not able to slp and also.. hav mental probs.. oh ya. 2day was a long day.. but i actually somehow or rather talked to him.. haha. i was standin outside my class and he walked towards, thinkin tat his class was at bl3.. but den realised tat it wasn't.. so he was like.. 'a?!!!!' haha.. he looked so cute.. den i was like laughin and den i told him tat it was de other class.. he was like.. izzit?!!! not this class meh? and i was like.. ya!!! tat class!!! den he went to his class.. denley was like smilin at me.. u noe tat kind of sly smile.. haha. and i asked if my face was red.. i mean if i blushed.. and YES! omg!! i did blushed a little.. and my face was hot.. lols. haha. i acted normal and i went over to their class outside.. to like gossip a little. and weiwen wants this gal's no.. and idk y.. a gal and her frens like walked passed and i called out to her and pointed at weiwen and say 'hello.. my fren wants ur no.'... hahaha... den he was like omg.. so embarrassed and his whole face was red! haha. wat a scene.. lols. every1 was like disturbing him.. haha. i stood like outside de door.. and facing towards de window on de door where denley was standin.. he was sittin inside.. i could see him just through de doors.. i did really peep much.. but 1 look at him will be enuf.. becox tat 1 look, just stuck in mind.. its like a 烙印.. those image were all still vivid in my mind.. i just cant seemed to get them off. and den when after sch.. i went over to yew tee for a drink with nic, vincent, xiong, den, weiwen, allen and kuniyawan.. when i reach dere, they were like.. shocked. hahaha. well. i wont say much on though... as usual.. ppl were funny when they were somehow drunk.. haha. laughters.... den at abt 6.10.. i went to meet mushroom for dinner at bugis.. he brought me to some coffee shop behind bugis street for thai cuisine.. de food dere was not bad.. better than thai express... it had a taste of thailand.. haha.. like u were really dere.. but not really to tat standard yet.. its abt 70% of it alrd.. haha. den i went home.. just now.. i went to see ur profile again... rite.. i didn't press it on purpose.. idk y i press it too. and i saw a new gal.. it seems like apart from hannah.. dere is still jasmine.. oh great. this name again.. y do i always have to face this name?! lols. wadeva.. i dun deny tat my heart ache a little.. but u r really... popular with gals?! or something like tat... it seems like love luck was on ur side nowadays and.. it seems like i have more and more rivals. if only u were not so sweet... den i might not fall in love with u...
seriously. all tat u hav said reflects on urself. i was trust worthin.. but for yrs, i've been by ur side.. how many times did u showed interest in my stuff? how many times did u really cared and wanted to noe more abt me?! i wasn't not trust worthin.. u noe it urself.. but de thing is i lost trust in u.. i told u my stuff and tell u not 2 tel any1.. but in de end.. u will tel ur bf.. its not like only once.. its been alot of times.. i always forgive and forget.. if my mind was full of sex.. i guess i wont still be a virgin and my first kiss will long be gone.. this.. u should not hav said it out. becox its almost like saying urself.. i would not say tat im mature.. nor will i say tat im childish.. but i hav not done anything tat all my other frens will say it as childish.. and quite some ppl say i was mature.. wadeva.. im not really sayin u r cheap or u r a slut. but i cant find any other more suitable words. yes.. i hav no rite.. but since u wanna tarnish and ruin urself like tat.. i hav nth to say.. everybody change.. even i, also change.. u might say tat u nv change abit.. but u did.. just tat u dunno.. u changed rite after pri sch... im really saying all these becox i do care abt u.. but u seemed to dun care abt it. so be it den. since u dun wanna change ur fuckin attitude.. fine.. i wont force u.. nor i will tolerate all of tat.. since ur bf is more important to u.. den so be it.. it none my fuckin prob anymore. well.. if u r goin to carry on like tat.. u will hav no true frens in life.. becox u dun care or listen... all u care is urself.. u dun even care abt ur mom.. she is pregnant and hav a stall to tend to and dere's a baby bro at home.. yet u went missin for like almost 2 days.. and u hav to make ur mom worried sick.. but u... havin fun and lovey dovey with ur bf at his place.. well... frankly speakin.. i dun feel like slappin u or do anything and i dun feel anything at all.. becox it just shows how childish i m to be aggitated by u.. well. life still goes on for me w or w/o u.. so.. it doesn't really matter anw.
i died.
10:24 PM
