Thursday, January 7, 2010
its been abt 2 days alrd since i noticed it. it felt like... nth.. numb.. so im really used to it alrd. im still back to de way i m.. still going for swimmin and plannin where to go first with jac.. i guess de only time when i really let go... is when im with jac or pk.. my 2 best frens.. i didnt noe y.. everytime i felt depressed or sad or watever it is.. and i go find jac at her place or went swimmin... it'll be as if nth happened.. or go out with pk.. shoppin... our favourite part.. i guess. havin these 2 best frens around.. is enuf alrd.. they made me feel..... safe.. is tat de word? hmm.. i guess.. ofcox i wont forget jiawen.. my best bitch. always give me de courage to face challenges.. always 'teach' me to work smart.. but i always screw it up.. too soft i guess. hmm.. i gotta work on it though. well.. without u.. although it felt empty.. but.. i guess... its just de way i m.. its always been empty all along.. de glimspe of hope is just from 1 side.. me.. de hope tat popped out is from myself.. de hope tat nv exist at all.. de only thing tat left for me to run towards now.. is de promises with jac.. 'jacuzzi' n sushi in japan, suana; food and shoppin in korea, shoppings in taiwan, shoppings and food in bangkok then visit my home in lampang... then my music.. de thing tat was always dere for me whenever im feelin blue, wherever i m.. my dream, my hobby.. singing.. singing out my lungs.. expressing watever im feeling.. watever i wanted to say.. it does it all.. and then.. its a promise to myself.. to have my own shop.. my own paradise.. becox of all these.. i should and i will 4get abt u.. or i should say... 4get abt love.. its just a part and parcel of life. without it.. my life will also be completed.. having no emotions.. will be a good thing. joe.. i love u.. but i shall keep tat love away.. for good.
i died.
5:33 PM
