原来我终究还是一个人

Friday, October 30, 2009

been soooooo....... long since i've posted anything. hmmm.. guess im more cheerful now ba?! but well. not as cheerful as how i've wanted it to be like though. things turned out to be.. different. everythinghas gone into place and i've taken my place in production. 2day was as usual.. but im damn damn damn slack. nth to do. and so... i went to help pui pui. and den got my finger nail cut. wth!! and my blood just gushed out like tat.. omg! felt dizzy.. but have to endure it anw. not becox of the pain with i've not yet to felt, but becox of the fear of seeing blood oozing out. funny?! hahaha. i thought so too. and what was so annoying is that i got cut when im julien-ing the last piece of carrot!!! shit right! yeah... the days in production was... ok?! or maybe not. but the least expected thing was.... im now goddaughter of chef steward!!! hahahahaha... SHHH!!!!!!!! like... impossible.. but he really is a good person. really takes care of me too.. glad.. haha. wow.. like.. first time using eng?! hahaha.. for the past few weeks.. i've been wonderin what is left for me in life. till.. i found them... friends in production.. especially aili.. she has been the best lover i've ever had?! haha.. and she KNOWS THAI!!! impressive.. haha. when we talk.. every1 was like... huh?!.... haha. good though. i can tel her my secrets openly.. and ofcox i trusted her. haa. hmmm... idk why.. it seems like de feeling for some1 is gettin stronger each day. but whenever it gets stronger, i get more timid as well.. the fear to get hurt again. and from some1 who reminds me of another. what m i doin? like why izzit that i get into this kind of shit everytime. y cant i just... stay put and rest. who can make me heartless? or is there anything that can help it? if i had a wish.. i would wish that i have a cold heart. but no... and i miss him dearly.

i died.
10:36 PM

Sunday, October 18, 2009

wth!! i look so damn fat ar.. must lose weight!!

It's meat just simply melts in my mouth, awwwwwwsome!!

omg.. im like an extra.. all class A de ppl. hahaha..

In de toilet with my balloon!! haa..

My candy floss!! specially requested for a big 1.. hahaha.. i just love it..

i died.
9:56 PM

all I need is just one chance, one kiss, one night to show you what you mean to me. One chance to spend all day with you and show you how much place u hold in my heart, one kiss to prove that we were more than just friends, & one night to hold you tight! (quote from somewhere on de net.) 觉得这词好像能够表达我心里所想的，所以。。。不知道为什么好像对你有了感觉，虽然知道这是件荒谬的事，但是，是你让我在黑暗中看到了光芒。或许是因为你跟他有些相似吧，还有你每次都会逗着我玩，像个小孩，我还看到了你那细心的一面。但是我知道你跟他一样，爱不得。。不行。。对你只是好感，更把你当成代替品。是该适可而止了。

i died.
9:34 PM

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I didn't know why i come across this song.. and found it meaningful.. but i have no other meaning.. so.. ya.. enjoy..

i died.
10:00 PM

Friday, October 9, 2009

天快亮了能不能别离开呢
沉默像首悲伤的歌
无声视线却模糊了你要走了
也带走所有快乐甜蜜的片段散落了
你倦了心冷了我哭了
那流星闪过
我们许下一个愿望要在一起
绝不分离你怎麽放弃了
星空在闪烁像你的眼泪悄悄划过
当你放开了手离开的时候
有没有一点舍不得我
泪光在闪烁
而我的眼泪忍住不敢坠落
我还留在黑暗中守候你却已经远远离开我
离开我了梦醒了还剩什麽
我要的幸福消失了
你的心曾经属於我的
那流星闪过我们许下一个愿望
要在一起绝不分离你怎麽放弃了
星空在闪烁像你的眼泪悄悄划过
当你放开了手离开的时候
有没有一点舍不得我
泪光在闪烁而我的眼泪忍住不敢坠落
我还留在黑暗中守候
你却已经远远离开我
有过的快乐我都记得
回忆还旋转着爱怎麽停了
我们都泪了
星空在闪烁像你的眼泪悄悄划过
当你放开了手离开的时候
有没有一点舍不得我
泪光在闪烁而我的眼泪忍住不敢坠落
我还留在黑暗中守候你却已经远远离开

i died.
8:33 PM

Monday, October 5, 2009

being revived half way back 2 de living world and jux hang out at jasila darlin's house 2day was great. saw them all made me feel... family.. we all watched phobia 1 at her place and i was 2 afraid 2 see de last story. scary... wat was special 2day was.. i wrote in eng.. which was clearly not my style. haha. but anw.. ya. datou's hairstyle changed.. doesn't really suit him.. but i still love him anw, shu zhen seemed 2 look more kiddy in a way tat she looks really cute, li zhen.. my ah po.. look more 女人 now.. but den... still.. haha. hav more space for improvement. and she look darker now. thiviyan wise... still de same.. no change.. and as for jasila.. hmmm.... yupp.. nv change much.. but more slim?! haha.. i still love all of u. haha. hmmm... waitin for our nxt meetin b4 jasila migrates. i'll miss her so much.

虽然今天过得比较像个人。。但是好像还是没什么变化。。已经开始和他们说话了。。但是好像又想要回到一个人的生活方式。。每天一样的东西，一样的人，事，物。。好像渐渐的已经习惯了。。或许一个人就是属于我的生活方式吧。。也只有这样，才不会心乱如麻。我该如何是好？！

i died.
12:02 AM

Saturday, October 3, 2009

过了两个礼拜，一切都似乎好像没什么变化。。对工作，对感情，甚至是友情，都开始起了疑心和感到失落。平常的我在工作上是得心应手，但不知为什么最近好像老是出差错。对友情，我是付出一切我所能给的，但是好像付出的都被当成是理所当然。甚至有个人口上一直说是我的好朋友，为我付出的很多，在我失落时照着我，其实你根本就没有做什么，你每天只会跟我报告你的状况还有关于你父母对你的排斥，你以为我会想知道吗？oh pls。。我哪里还会有那个精力去理你，况且你又是谁？我不需要每天时时刻刻的在一旁等你的短讯，而且我不是你的谁，一不回你短讯，你就会一直打给我。你很烦叻！！！况且我已经告诉你说我有意中人了。。拜托！！stop bein so childish！嗨。。对感情，我好像对某个人有了一点好感，也许是因为他的一举一动很像一个人吧。。但是。。。我已经没有信心了。。。

i died.
8:45 PM