原来我终究还是一个人

Friday, November 20, 2009

last day in MO was fun and i really enjoyed my day though it was very very long.. abt 11hours. haha. but time passes very fast as well.. just a blink and its time to go home.. took some pics.. haha. logo covered!! haa. got to noe more ppl. done quite alot of stuff.. haha. i hope to go back some day. haha.

i died.
8:19 PM

Monday, November 16, 2009

i should hav known.. all tat was just illusions and my own thinkin... my wishful thinkin tat we might stand a chance.. but its actually de other way round. i shouldnt hav made u de substitute right from de start. i shouldnt hav really fall in love with u and get so deep down de tunnel.. a blow like tat hurts... but i should hav known tat history will repeat itself. it wouldnt just stop here... i shouldnt hav got so close to u and made u my god bro.. a lesson tat time should be enuf.. y m i so stupid to make this kind of mistake again. and now.. we cant even be frens.. i dont even hav de right to say no... or even say goodbye for de last time. but somehow. i thanked u.. for being dere when i needed some1, gave me some happiness tat i used 2 hav... and thanked u for reminding me again of tat incident.... and de pain.... this fucked up life... it isnt enuf isnt it... all these in a day isnt enuf isnt it. my air ticket is booked.. and was told tat comprehensive was on de 14th.. fuck.. and i was to go back to see my grandpa. fine... wats more to come? i'll take it.. better come all at once... death.. im awaitin for u...

i died.
10:16 PM

Sunday, November 15, 2009

"i believe love is blind.. becox when u fall in love with some1, u wouldnt care whether he is good/bad, good lookin/not good lookin, rich/poor, whether he feels the same or not. all u see is him/her in ur eyes.. dere is nth so wonderful/ perfect like that. wateva u do/think/care is abt him/her, its like.. its linked to him/her.. whether its day or night, u'll be wondering wat he/she is doin... whether he/she has had breakfast/lunch/dinner. when de weather is bad, u'll be wonderin if he/she had an umbrella or whether he/she has enuf clothings to fend for the cold... when u're preparing to go to slp, u'll also be wondering whether he/she is asleep and whether he/she has had his/her blanket on.. everytime when he/she is frownin, u wish to be dere to share his/her burdens and hopes tat he/she could be happy and smilin always.. when he'she is injured, u wish to be de 1 injured instead and ur heart aches... maybe tats how u explain love... love is blind.. its not abt u anymore.. its all abt him/her.." this is wat i answered when i was asked 'Is Love Blind?'.. maybe this is how i feel towards u.. and how.. i acted.. i asked some1.. wat u did 2day.. and i laughed.. i asked him again.. if u disturbed de service staff... and as expected.. u did.. he asked me if im jealous.. i tot.. maybe i m.. becox i wanted to noe... and den i asked again.. if u touched her nose or something like tat.. he answered me.. no.. at tat moment.. im really happy.. becox it seems like u didnt do de same to de others. its like this was our little thing.. does it mean tat u did felt de same? idk.. i've nv let any1 pinched my nose like tat. but when u did tat.. i didnt got worked up.. but i did jerk a little.. and i felt butterflies in my stomach.. maybe i've said too much.. but u did walk in.. and u're not a replacement.. wat i wanna say is.. i miss u.. and i wish to be in ur arms once again.. to feel ur warmth once again..

i died.
3:38 AM

Sunday, November 8, 2009

喜欢你是对的还是错的？

i died.
4:43 PM

Thursday, November 5, 2009

时间一分一秒的过去，在 charcoal 的日子一天一天的过去。每天漫无目的的向前走，迷失了方向。快乐是什么？对工作的热诚又是什么？被弄伤或是心上的创伤又有何不同？这些似乎都没什么了。。又再一次的陷入陷阱里。。或许这就是命吧。。也只好认了。。

i died.
1:11 AM

Friday, October 30, 2009

been soooooo....... long since i've posted anything. hmmm.. guess im more cheerful now ba?! but well. not as cheerful as how i've wanted it to be like though. things turned out to be.. different. everythinghas gone into place and i've taken my place in production. 2day was as usual.. but im damn damn damn slack. nth to do. and so... i went to help pui pui. and den got my finger nail cut. wth!! and my blood just gushed out like tat.. omg! felt dizzy.. but have to endure it anw. not becox of the pain with i've not yet to felt, but becox of the fear of seeing blood oozing out. funny?! hahaha. i thought so too. and what was so annoying is that i got cut when im julien-ing the last piece of carrot!!! shit right! yeah... the days in production was... ok?! or maybe not. but the least expected thing was.... im now goddaughter of chef steward!!! hahahahaha... SHHH!!!!!!!! like... impossible.. but he really is a good person. really takes care of me too.. glad.. haha. wow.. like.. first time using eng?! hahaha.. for the past few weeks.. i've been wonderin what is left for me in life. till.. i found them... friends in production.. especially aili.. she has been the best lover i've ever had?! haha.. and she KNOWS THAI!!! impressive.. haha. when we talk.. every1 was like... huh?!.... haha. good though. i can tel her my secrets openly.. and ofcox i trusted her. haa. hmmm... idk why.. it seems like de feeling for some1 is gettin stronger each day. but whenever it gets stronger, i get more timid as well.. the fear to get hurt again. and from some1 who reminds me of another. what m i doin? like why izzit that i get into this kind of shit everytime. y cant i just... stay put and rest. who can make me heartless? or is there anything that can help it? if i had a wish.. i would wish that i have a cold heart. but no... and i miss him dearly.

i died.
10:36 PM

Sunday, October 18, 2009

wth!! i look so damn fat ar.. must lose weight!!

It's meat just simply melts in my mouth, awwwwwwsome!!

omg.. im like an extra.. all class A de ppl. hahaha..

In de toilet with my balloon!! haa..

My candy floss!! specially requested for a big 1.. hahaha.. i just love it..

i died.
9:56 PM